I am afraid the sad truth is that the organizer is not meant to work satisfactorily with network drives. I have yet to see testimonies of successful implementations.
http://www.johnrellis.com/psedbtool/photoshop-elements-faq.htm#_Storing_the_catalog
I am not a network specialist like you, but it's highly unlikely that Adobe wants the organizer to work with shared catalogs.
If you look at the same problem with Lightroom, you get this:
Lightroom: Multi-User / Multi Computer (Shared catalog on a network)
Adobe is just promoting the use of Revel as a sharing system.
The only way to share catalogs and images supported by Adobe for Elements is to store them on an external drive you plug in alternatively to the different computers.